The Notorious Puddlegum Family

The Puddlegum family comprise Albanian brothers Solok and Nasty, their cousin Bobo and - allegedly -  Solok's son, Spunky.

Solok and Nasty Puddlegum

Bobo Puddlegum

Spunky Puddlegum

Solok, however, in his broken English, denies that Spunky is his son because, as he puts it, "da skinny tosser's bullocks are too small".

For his part, Spunky is very proud of his Puddlegum heritage; he loves his "dad" dearly and admires Nasty above anyone else on the planet.

Spunky is fond of saying, "Nasty is so tough, he wears Blakeys in his Airwair".

Bobo Puddlegum

Bobo Puddlegum, Nasty and Solok's cousin, is an elderly midget (not a dwarf!). He took early retirement from his former service as a circus performer (variously employed as an acrobat, human cannon ball, clown, elephant tamer and pickpocket) when his excruciating hernia became so painful that he would scream like a wounded animal every time he landed badly on the trapeze safety net.
Parents, children and understandably enough, his beloved elephants, found this extremely disturbing.  

Nasty Puddlegum

Through wily cunning, shrewdness, stealth and the judicious use of a pick axe handle, Nasty is universally recognised as is the Head of the family.

On occasion, he has been known to ride rough-shod over the other family members.

Nasty rides Bobo

However, they all continue to support, admire, respect and, above all else, fear him.

Nasty

Before returning to Europe to form 'Fuckpig Enterprises' using hard-earned Columbian venture capital, Nasty spent 3 years working alongside Che Guevara as his bodyguard, gym instructor and personal guru.

Nasty Puddlegum circa 1962

However, deep in his heart, for as long as anyone could remember, Nasty yearned to be recognised as a top-class award-winning pornographer.

Finally, 'Fuckpig Enterprises' would provide him the opportunity to realise that dream.

Nasty Puddlegum - Vice President of Fuckpig Films

Under Nasty's stewardship, 'Fuckpig' released a number of innovative and diverse porn films including 'Pregnant Facial Parties Vol 1 to 6', 'Spunk Guzzling Twins', 'Midget Fisters' (staring Bobo Puddlegum), 'Old Farts Vs. Teenage Ass's' and many others.

'Fuckpig' won the coveted 'Golden Labia' award on no less than four occasions. The ground breaking 'Shemales A-Go-Go' is a classic and still considered one of the most influential films of the genre.

Nasty Puddlegum's business card

Arguably, Nasty's crowning achievement as VP of 'Fuckpig Films' was discovering the emerging talent Pixie Rain.
Using his many years experience in internet grooming, Nasty partnered with Lar Jun to launch her career in pornography, convincing the naive girl that "your parents will be proud of you!" and "porn is *not* a waste of a University education!"
Nasty and Lar instigated a joint-venture to sponsor Rain's work and have been living immorally off the proceeds ever since.

'PsychoKiller' starring Nasty Puddlegum & Ziggy Bookmite

Nasty went on to star in one of Rain's machinima, 'PsychoKiller' (2010), alongside Ziggy Bookmite. This machinima is Second Life's first ever snuff movie.
The film was later used by the prosecution at Nasty's trial and proved instrumental in his subsequent conviction and incarceration in the prison wing of a high-security psychiatric hospital deep in the beautiful Berkshire countryside.

Upon his release in November 2011, Nasty immediately went into production with an invention that had occupied his mind throughout the long dark, dank days of his imprisonment - the portable glory hole.

Solok trials the Portable Gloryhole

Long term, however, Nasty hopes that to find investors willing to put capital into his cum-filled syringe insemination programme.

He claims that governments all over the world are showing interest in this programme because it is quick and easy way to improve the quality of a countries' gene pool.

Nasty fiercely rejects accusations of promoting eugenics and quotes the noted 19th Century Albanian nihilistic philosopher Alpert Nietzsche in support: "If I kill you, it makes me stronger."

The Cum-Fill Syringe Insemination Programme

Solok Puddlegum is the oldest and, it is widely and justifiably believed, the most perverted member of the family. He is also the quietest, largely due to his poor understanding of the English language.

He has become adept, however, in making his intentions known using only his eyes, fingers, tongue and an obscene rotating of his hips.

Solok dishwashing at Old Lar's Place

Solok is adamant that he is not Spunky's father despite Spunky's frequent protests to the contrary.

When challenged, Solok has always refused to co-operate in a DNA test.

Solok terrorising old ladies at the retirement home 

"Fuck off," he once explained to the investigating Child Support Agency officer as she tried to re-claim forty years of back payments.

He finally slammed the door in her face when she refused to tell him the colour of her knickers.

Solok relaxed and happy

When not at home masturbating over Nasty or Pixie's pornography, Solok will most often be found masturbating over the bar dancers.

Solok with his last two known lovers

From a very early age, it was clear to everyone that Bobo Puddlegum was destined for little things.

Diagnosed as a midget before his mother had even been trolleyed out of the delivery room, his father sold him to the Albanian State Circus before he was fully weaned.

Only by the Grace of God and the protection of his cousins Solok and Nasty did he make it into teenage.

Bobo Puddlegum cira 1973

Being a teenager is never easy and even more so if you are born a midget.

But young Bobo was a fighter and had one big asset that gave him an advantage over his peers; it ensured he was never without female company...

Bobo's Assets

...Bobo loved to dance!

DJ Bobo before the BPI confiscated his decks and LPs

Dancing is but one of Bobo's many talents. He lists his other interests as baking, knitting, embroidery, sailing, spanking and anal fingering.

Embroidery 

Many of these skills he learnt by necessity from living with Nasty and bed bathing Solok. Other of the skills he was taught when he attended Walthamstow Reform School for Boys in East London.

Bobo baking

Lar Jun, friend of the Puddlegums for four generations man and boy, was the first to offer the young Bobo gainful employment.
Spotting Bobo's obvious culinary talents, Lar had him preparing food in the scullery. 

Bobo prepares food

The exact reasons why Bobo was dismissed has been lost to history but oldbie's at Lar's Place still talk in hushed tones about being served a "The Full Breakfast Surprise".

Breakfast is Served

Bobo has a tendency to dress inappropriately at social events. Nobody really understands why.
For example, when invited to meet Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth Version 2 on the lawns of Buckingham Palace to celebrate 50 years of The Women's Institute, Bobo dressed as a Jester.

Bobo meets Queen Elizabeth v2

Anal Fingering

Salty Seaman

Gadfly

Bobo, always the womaniser, has never been found wanting for female companionship.
However, when he was selected as Playmate of the Month for the popular 'Midget Lovers' magazine, things would never be the same for him again.

Playmate of the Month

Invited to all the best parties, girls offering him their underwear, free lap dances, sex a simple smile away...life was good for Bobo Puddlegum.

Free lap dances

Free ass

But in essence, Bobo is a simple man with simple needs.

Lar and Bobo

Coming from humble beginnings and despite all the trappings and riches that life has presented to him, he is never happier than when in the company of his best buddy, Lar...and his trusty handheld fleshlight.

Custom size fleshlight

Spunky is the most emotionally sensitive of the Puddlegums, likely due to suffering from chronic irritable bowel syndrome.

Spunky Puddlegum defecating

Whereas for many, having a spastic colon would lead to a life of disability and welfare cheques, Spunky has done his utmost to build himself a respectable career.

Queefer's Assistant Manager

Spunky is proud to recently have been promoted to Assistant Manager of his local Queefer's mini mart. He has been presented with the keys to the padlocks on the window security grills and has responsibility of opening the shutters each day and re-locking them at close of business.

Spunky Puddlegum: Sensitive and Proud

He takes his responsibility so seriously and is so diligent that his Regional Manager was moved to report that "Spunky Puddlegum has become an indispensable Yes Man."

Spunky contemplating his career

After his 14-hour shift at the mini mart, Spunky enjoys nothing more than Karaoke at the nearby Wheel Tappers and Shunters Club.
His rendition of Carla Lane's 'Your So Vain' is near legendary but it is his Elvis Presley impression that brings the crowds to their knees...and tears to their eyes.

Elvis Puddlegum

Although his "father" Solok has been married four times in all, Spunky has never been married - a fact that hurts Spunky deeply and on a daily basis.

Spunky practices safe, hygienic sex

His Lonely Hearts personal ad appears every Thursday in the Scunthorpe and Hull Gazette. Sadly, Spunky has yet to receive a single reply:

"Male 60's. Slim, glasses, high sperm count, WLTM 18 - 25 F w/ appetite for mutual masturbation & ballroom dancing. Cooking skills a bonus. Will wash cock for intercourse.
Box #548"

Spunky Puddlegum WLTM 18 - 25 F

Like his father before him, Spunky is partial to masturbating over images of Pixie Rain. He met a sticky end, however, when CCTV cameras filmed him breaking into Rain's production studio and depositing semen all over her computer monitor.

CCTV image used in court as evidence

Spunky pleaded guilty to all charges and was sentenced to 100 hours community service. He felt this would be a great opportunity to improve his social life.
Solok, however, was less than impressed and was overheard saying to Nasty, "Da skinny tosser got off with a puffs sentence. He no son of mine!"
Nasty nodded sagely.

Skinny Tosser

Who am I, you ask? How do I know so much of the Puddlegum story? Why am I so interested?


I am the product of the Nasty's first ever cum-filled syringe insemination programme, twenty years ago - a generic experiment that went catastrophically wrong.
The sperm of the four Puddlegums accidently got mixed together in the same test tube. The contents of that test tube were injected into a female volunteer.


Nine months after that terrible incident, I was born. 


Genetic tests have found traces of Solok, Nasty, Bobo and Spunky in my DNA.
I am the Daughter of all four Puddlegums and all four Puddlegums are my Father.


My name is Pixie Puddlegum.

CREDITS:

Images by Lar Jun, Solok, Nasty, Bobo, Spunky and Pixie Puddlegum

Text by Pixie Puddlegum inspired by characters created by Nasty Puddlegum and ideas from Lar Jun and Bobo Puddlegum

Text edited and images framed by Pixie Rain

THE SEXIEST® Film Awards 2011 - Judging Panel

THE SEXIEST^® Film Awards 2011 officially kicked-off yesterday.

This is Second Life’s most respected machinima contest for adult, sexual and/or erotic content.

Last year four of my films were nominated for awards and ‘Sex With Strangers’ ended up taking the ‘Best Special Effects’ award.

This year however, I have been asked to Chair the Judging Panel – see the public announcement here.

As Chair of the Judging Panel my duties include forming a suitable panel of judges, organising a scoring regime, acting as a communication point for the organisers of the competition and ensuring fair play.

It is important to realise that under the normal course of things I do not  vote - except in the highly unlikely event that there is a tie for first place in a particular category, in which case I have the casting vote.

The names of the actual judges will be kept under wraps until the award ceremony – 28 January 2012. Until that time, only I know who is judging the competition – even the organisers will not be told. Furthermore, even the judges do not know who else is on the panel.

It goes without saying that none of my films will be entered into the competition.

I give my word that I will do my very utmost to ensure a fair competition and that all entries get a fair and equal hearing.

Only remains for me to wish everyone the best of luck!

Pixie xx

Perchance to Day Dream

"Yoga is Union.

Yoga is first of all the union of the subject and the object of consciousness: of the seer with the thing seen.

Now, there is nothing strange or wonderful about all this.

The study of the principles of Yoga is very useful to the average man, if only to make him think about the nature of the world as he supposes that he knows it.

Let us consider a piece of cheese. We say that this has certain qualities, shape, structure, colour, solidity, weight, taste, smell, consistency and the rest; but investigation has shown that this is all illusory. Where are these qualities? Not in the cheese, for different observers give quite different accounts of it. Not in ourselves, for we do not perceive them in the absence of the cheese. All 'material things,' all impressions, are phantoms.

In reality the cheese is nothing but a series of electric charges. Even the most fundamental quality of all, mass, has been found not to exist. The same is true of the matter in our brains which is partly responsible for these perceptions. What then are these qualities of which we are all so sure? They would not exist without our brains; they would not exist without the cheese. They are the results of the union, that is of the Yoga, of the seer and the seen, of subject and object in consciousness as the philosophical phrase goes. They have no material existence; they are only names given to the ecstatic results of this particular form of Yoga."

from 'Eight Lectures on Yoga' by Mahatma Guru-Sri Pramahansa (orig. pub. 1939)

.:: DoL ::.

There is a subject that I have wanted to discuss for a while but exactly how to contextualise it didn't become clear to me until I visited the 'Daytime Dreams' region created by Dolphin Aeghin (.:: DoL ::.).

(click images to enlarge)

It concerns the relationship(s) between virtual art, education in virtual worlds, human relations expressed through an avatar and why some Second Life sims are clearly more "popular" and "successful" than others.

.:: DoL ::.'s work at Daytime Dreams manages to capture something which I think is important to the success of a sim and, by extension, important also to Second Life itself.

But before we address that issue, let us first take a detour and look at examples which empathetically are *not* what I am thinking of.

I remember being invited to one particular educational sim to listen to a lecture.

They had built a decent-enough auditorium in a semi-circle; seating was individual chairs.

Except...

Expect that the chairs hadn't got a "sit" in them. That is, it wasn't possible to actually *sit* in the chairs (except in a most deformed and ugly manner).

My point is, the educationalists who owned and built the auditorium didn't consider for a moment that avatars might actually want to *sit* in the chairs! To them, the chairs were architectural features necessary for a visual authenticity but, within a virtual world, totally redundant for actual usage.

So we all stood behind the chairs looking like vertically-stacked pilchards, watching and listening to the lecturer.

But the story doesn't stop there.

Because as the lecturer looked down upon us and pontificated about "the purpose of Second Life" and "how Second Life should be used" and "the future of Second Life and virtual worlds", I was thoroughly distracted by the fact that the guy looked like a complete fucking noob!

Worse in fact, because he had obviously attempted to do *something* with his avatar but had clearly decided "this just isn't worth the effort".

As I observed this lecturer's avatar and listened to his words, I realised that he had a massive "disconnect" between himself and his avatar; between the virtual world he purported to be an expert in and his actual existence within that world.

In short, it was clear to me that, although he was *in* Second Life, he wasn't actually *part* of Second Life - he knew nothing about its culture (or sub-cultures) or how people use it on a daily basis.

For me, he lost all credibility at the moment of that realisation.

Please understand, I am not talking here about some lofty point of philosophy like the "Augmentation vs Immersion" argument.

Rather, I am talking about much more down-to-earth things; I am talking about things that people do every day in SL, as normal activities.

I am pointing out that this educationalist lecturer was completely unaware that avatars *do* actually sit down in virtual worlds and that people *do* make judgements based on the appearance of avatars.

I am also suggesting that he had probably never danced in Second Life or hugged or had a blowjob or fucked.

Or felt the hurt and upset of one human being to another through the medium of an avatar.

Or comforted another human in distress simply by the act of two avatars cuddling.

Or broken another's heart.

Or had his heart broken.

He studies a tree but knows not the beauty of a forest; he knows the chemical composition of sugar but has never experienced its taste; he measures the distance to remote star-systems without ever being awed by its wonder.

Similarly, I was once in a club when a very rare bird indeed flew in - The Lesser Spotted Linden Employee.

A number of us said "Hi" or otherwise greeted her - no response whatsoever. I totally get that - she was at work and possibly studying region performance stats or whatever. Who knows what she was doing. But not a big deal regardless.

However, what was remarkable was she had absolutely no control over her avatar! She was walking into walls, bumping into people and even walked straight over a couch. One year in SL and she had no more ability controlling her avatar than a day old noob.

I kid you not.

It was stunning to see.

And as I watched her, I suddenly understood the attitude that must be so prevalent within The Lab that it resulted in the decision to remove surnames when registering for an SL account.

To them, Second Life is just a "technical" or "engineering" matter, a case of "instances of software and servers" or whatever.

They apparently have little or no understanding of the social implications of their decisions within Second Life.

The removal of avatar surnames has created a "class" or "caste" system in Second Life. This was predictable to anyone with any depth of experience of human relations. It is not nice or desirable nor indeed have any positive aspects at all - but it *was* predictable!

Expect, it seems, to The Lab. 

And worse, they show no signs at this time of either understanding or even caring about the negativity that that ill-fated decision has caused in-world.

How can this be?

I submit that the same malady that affects the aforementioned lecturer also affects some Linden Lab employees - they may well be *in* Second Life but they are certainly not *part* of Second Life.

There is nothing especially wrong with any of this, of course.

It just seems to me to be a very emotionally barren approach to virtuality in general and Second Life in particular.

Concretely, I am saying that these so-called "experts" are misunderstanding and missing out on experiencing the single most important aspect of Virtual Worlds - the capacity to conduct sincere and warm human relationships through the expression of an avatar.  

And that brings us roundly back to DoL's Daytime Dreams installation.

Because in most every aspect of this installation, we, as avatars, are able to express ourselves socially and emotionally.

This is not a "dry-as-dust" intellectual exercise  - it is sensual, moving and poignant excursion into avatar emotional expression.

In amongst the various individual artwork and installations on the region are discretely placed couples seating, couples poses and couples dance balls.
The overriding message is not so much "Please admire *my* work" as it is "Please admire *each other* while at my sim".

It is clear from spending quite a lot of time at Daytime Dreams (once before it was open to the public, twice since opening - a number of hours on each occasion) that .:: DoL ::. not only understands SL technically (building/scripting), and understands it artistically (as evidenced by this wonderful "newspaper rose", for example)...

 ...but she also understands it emotionally, socially and sexually.
And these things together - technical, artistic and socio-sexual - represent the runway to the zenith of experience in virtual worlds.

Frankly, I trust the opinions of an artist like .:: DoL ::. regarding SL far more than I do a lecturer or employee who can't be arsed to fully engage in the subject matter that they claim to be an expert in but nevertheless use to pay their mortgage.

You see, in my opinion, .:: DoL ::. has proven her credentials as an "expert" within virtual worlds by creating Daytime Dreams - I challenge the educationalists and Lab employees to prove theirs!

"Yoga is Union."

.:: DoL ::. has create a virtual space which successfully unites technicality, artistry and simple human connections and engagement.

She is to be applauded and thanked.

We sincerely hope that she will also be emulated.

Pixie xx

MAID IN THE CITY @ SL PORN TUBE

CORRUPTION IS BLISS! : A SPECIAL BLOG FEATURE : SERENITY AND ARWEN JUNEBERRY.

Rache settles in to her new role.

WATCH THE MOVIE RIGHT NOW AT SL PORN TUBE!!!

Corruption Is Bliss is the first chapter of "Maid In The City". In the tradition of Erotique Porn Productions, it's a porn movie with a little plot woven in.

I'm very happy to release again at http://www.slporntube.com . Obviously the site is building up still, but we want to help support it, and help it gather pace. Traffic may be lower, however you still reach the core audience of the SL porn community, we still get great feed back, and it was amazing to receive 11 ratings on the last movie. Showing although the site gets less traffic than NM, it is viewed by active, interested parties within SL Porn. We make our movies because we enjoy it, and to make our cast feel special, and to entertain the people who are interested in us within SL.

Blondes do have fun, but i'm not complaining..I did ok too!

If you know me, you know i like to tick a few boxes when we do a movie, we like to feel we've built on the last project, in at least some areas. Which is not always easy if one movie has space ships and cg effects, and one is set in a SL home, but i do feel visually this offers a lot. There are many elements in the movie which i have tried for the first time. Personally I'm very happy with how the movie looks. Ranging from soft and glowy and pretty, to some very graphic scenes in a dungeon!

Do i look like i'm enjoying it?

This movie contrasts so well, i love it. I think that keeps it interesting and fresh from start to finish. I always wanted to try and generate some styles and looks i was experimenting with in some photography and have it in a movie. I believe that's happened in some scenes of this movie. Building on the scenes i was happy to produce in The Widow, and Twice Bitten, i think this one looks very pretty in places.

Arwen really gets stuck in to her role.

The co stars appearing with myself and Arwen were just fantastic, and a pleasure to work with. Rache looked perfect for her role, and I'm sure you'll agree looks cute, and innocent and sexy all at the same time. Lunedor, well...she looks just stunning, and formidable! I could not believe we were directing her in her first movie, the shoot went so well she's a natural. Just like many people we've met, Lunedor is a friend we've spoken about including in a movie for a long time. So please be patient with us.

Still want to be our Maid???

Just when you think you have corruption is Bliss weighed up, as some soft glowy Lesbian movie, things change dramatically. Rache and Arwen's script sent my filming off in a totally new direction, and a visit to Lunedor's dungeon offers a fresh perspective and plenty of hot action to keep the movie exciting.

Lunedor welcomes Rache to her Dungeon. 

A nice cosy Lesbian threesome gives way to the excitement of a BDSM dungeon. As Rache's new "personal trainer" puts her through her paces!

I think we'd all be making a face like that.

Lunedor and Rache contrasted wonderfully well on screen, it was a pleasure to direct them for myself and Arwen. When i filmed in the dungeon i could have gone on all night, so many options and so many exciting toys and scenes to capture!

Maid In The City : Corruption Is Bliss, may not have space ships, or big effects scenes that previous Erotique movies have had, but i still feel it manages to be big in scope. And of course, it has the usual big sex scenes you are used to with an Erotique Porn movie. I feel i did Arwen justice too, making her look hotter than ever!

WATCH THE MOVIE RIGHT NOW AT SL PORN TUBE!!!

See more screen shots after the jump!!!

SPECIAL EFFECTS IN PORN

In our recent movie "Maid In The City : Corruption Is Bliss!" I was reminded again, just how Erotique Porn Productions has become used to using visual effects in movies. Even in movies where it does not look like they are present.

Pandora's Box. Zero G Sex Scene. Used a lot of green screen and effects techniques.

Even in a movie totally unlike Pandora's Box which was of course set in space and inside space ships and really call for visual effects, or in films like Pron. Every day movies set in a SL home can benefit from visual effects in post production too.

Here is a good example of a visual effect being used as a movie making tool in our last movie. The drapes surround a green screen, in a scene shot at one location.

At another location Serenity and Arwen are shot stood in a room where an earlier part of the movie was filmed.

This shot does not look like a special effect. Sometimes that's what is called for. Effects are about making the impossible appear on screen. That can be space ships flying around. Pure artistic expressions, Or even adding an actress into a scene who was not there at the time, or making a set look bigger than it actually is.

Here the two are combined, the doorway green screened, or "Chroma Keyed" out, the clip with Serenity and Arwen is then placed and revealed underneath. In fact throughout the movie the doorway appears to lead to the a joining room, even though they were two separate locations.

This allowed us to to create a more extensive looking set where there was none. It could have easily allowed a Director to shoot this above scene even if all three actresses were not online together. Which is a common problem when embarking on longer productions in SL. I even took the opportunity to experiment with blurring the two elements to fake a depth of field effect, like the Kirstens viewer can produce.

In our movie "The Widow" The Demon which appears in the Finale was filmed against a green screen. This was for several reasons, one was we had scenes which had to be perfectly lined up, and composing the scene in software and arranging the pieces on screen was was easier than trying to get every thing in one place in SL.  Plus the church setting was made quite dim for atmospheric reasons, meaning the black demon never showed up much against the surroundings.

Here you can see the dark demon is highlighted by an eerie red glow. Which was possible due to it being a layer in a virtual scene. The red glow makes the Demon pop out! It also matches the eyes and just looks fitting too. Also a drop shadow on the demon was able to be used as it was a separate element, just like you add drop shadow to a line of text. This above scene is composed of some stock footage of flames, a snapshot of the film set, and the green screen video of the demon. In all it made it a lot more exciting visually than just shooting a regular scene in SL.

Serenity Juneberry. xx