The Puddlegum family comprise Albanian brothers Solok and Nasty, their cousin Bobo and - allegedly - Solok's son, Spunky.
|Solok and Nasty Puddlegum|
Solok, however, in his broken English, denies that Spunky is his son because, as he puts it, "da skinny tosser's bullocks are too small".
For his part, Spunky is very proud of his Puddlegum heritage; he loves his "dad" dearly and admires Nasty above anyone else on the planet.
|Nasty Puddlegum - Vice President of Fuckpig Films|
Under Nasty's stewardship, 'Fuckpig' released a number of innovative and diverse porn films including 'Pregnant Facial Parties Vol 1 to 6', 'Spunk Guzzling Twins', 'Midget Fisters' (staring Bobo Puddlegum), 'Old Farts Vs. Teenage Ass's' and many others.
'Fuckpig' won the coveted 'Golden Labia' award on no less than four occasions. The ground breaking 'Shemales A-Go-Go' is a classic and still considered one of the most influential films of the genre.
|Nasty Puddlegum's business card|
Arguably, Nasty's crowning achievement as VP of 'Fuckpig Films' was discovering the emerging talent Pixie Rain.
Using his many years experience in internet grooming, Nasty partnered with Lar Jun to launch her career in pornography, convincing the naive girl that "your parents will be proud of you!" and "porn is *not* a waste of a University education!"
Nasty and Lar instigated a joint-venture to sponsor Rain's work and have been living immorally off the proceeds ever since.
|'PsychoKiller' starring Nasty Puddlegum & Ziggy Bookmite|
Nasty went on to star in one of Rain's machinima, 'PsychoKiller' (2010), alongside Ziggy Bookmite. This machinima is Second Life's first ever snuff movie.
The film was later used by the prosecution at Nasty's trial and proved instrumental in his subsequent conviction and incarceration in the prison wing of a high-security psychiatric hospital deep in the beautiful Berkshire countryside.
Upon his release in November 2011, Nasty immediately went into production with an invention that had occupied his mind throughout the long dark, dank days of his imprisonment - the portable glory hole.
|Solok trials the Portable Gloryhole|
Long term, however, Nasty hopes that to find investors willing to put capital into his cum-filled syringe insemination programme.
He claims that governments all over the world are showing interest in this programme because it is quick and easy way to improve the quality of a countries' gene pool.
Nasty fiercely rejects accusations of promoting eugenics and quotes the noted 19th Century Albanian nihilistic philosopher Alpert Nietzsche in support: "If I kill you, it makes me stronger."
|The Cum-Fill Syringe Insemination Programme|
Solok Puddlegum is the oldest and, it is widely and justifiably believed, the most perverted member of the family. He is also the quietest, largely due to his poor understanding of the English language.
He has become adept, however, in making his intentions known using only his eyes, fingers, tongue and an obscene rotating of his hips.
|Solok dishwashing at Old Lar's Place|
Solok is adamant that he is not Spunky's father despite Spunky's frequent protests to the contrary.
When challenged, Solok has always refused to co-operate in a DNA test.
|Solok terrorising old ladies at the retirement home|
"Fuck off," he once explained to the investigating Child Support Agency officer as she tried to re-claim forty years of back payments.
He finally slammed the door in her face when she refused to tell him the colour of her knickers.
|Solok relaxed and happy|
When not at home masturbating over Nasty or Pixie's pornography, Solok will most often be found masturbating over the bar dancers.
Solok with his last two known lovers
From a very early age, it was clear to everyone that Bobo Puddlegum was destined for little things.
Diagnosed as a midget before his mother had even been trolleyed out of the delivery room, his father sold him to the Albanian State Circus before he was fully weaned.
Only by the Grace of God and the protection of his cousins Solok and Nasty did he make it into teenage.
|Bobo Puddlegum cira 1973|
Being a teenager is never easy and even more so if you are born a midget.
But young Bobo was a fighter and had one big asset that gave him an advantage over his peers; it ensured he was never without female company...
...Bobo loved to dance!
|DJ Bobo before the BPI confiscated his decks and LPs|
Spotting Bobo's obvious culinary talents, Lar had him preparing food in the scullery.
|Bobo prepares food|
|Breakfast is Served|
For example, when invited to meet Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth Version 2 on the lawns of Buckingham Palace to celebrate 50 years of The Women's Institute, Bobo dressed as a Jester.
|Bobo meets Queen Elizabeth v2|
However, when he was selected as Playmate of the Month for the popular 'Midget Lovers' magazine, things would never be the same for him again.
|Playmate of the Month|
|Free lap dances|
But in essence, Bobo is a simple man with simple needs.
|Lar and Bobo|
|Custom size fleshlight|
|Spunky Puddlegum defecating|
Whereas for many, having a spastic colon would lead to a life of disability and welfare cheques, Spunky has done his utmost to build himself a respectable career.
|Queefer's Assistant Manager|
|Spunky Puddlegum: Sensitive and Proud|
|Spunky contemplating his career|
His rendition of Carla Lane's 'Your So Vain' is near legendary but it is his Elvis Presley impression that brings the crowds to their knees...and tears to their eyes.
Although his "father" Solok has been married four times in all, Spunky has never been married - a fact that hurts Spunky deeply and on a daily basis.
|Spunky practices safe, hygienic sex|
"Male 60's. Slim, glasses, high sperm count, WLTM 18 - 25 F w/ appetite for mutual masturbation & ballroom dancing. Cooking skills a bonus. Will wash cock for intercourse.
|Spunky Puddlegum WLTM 18 - 25 F|
|CCTV image used in court as evidence|
Solok, however, was less than impressed and was overheard saying to Nasty, "Da skinny tosser got off with a puffs sentence. He no son of mine!"
Nasty nodded sagely.
I am the product of the Nasty's first ever cum-filled syringe insemination programme, twenty years ago - a generic experiment that went catastrophically wrong.
The sperm of the four Puddlegums accidently got mixed together in the same test tube. The contents of that test tube were injected into a female volunteer.
Nine months after that terrible incident, I was born.
Genetic tests have found traces of Solok, Nasty, Bobo and Spunky in my DNA.
I am the Daughter of all four Puddlegums and all four Puddlegums are my Father.
My name is Pixie Puddlegum.
Images by Lar Jun, Solok, Nasty, Bobo, Spunky and Pixie Puddlegum
Text by Pixie Puddlegum inspired by characters created by Nasty Puddlegum and ideas from Lar Jun and Bobo Puddlegum
Text edited and images framed by Pixie Rain